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I expected an apology, so later, I confronted my SIL. He was certain she meant “fairy godmother” or something imaginary like that. When I confronted my brother about this, he did his usual behavior of hiding the truth by claiming it was a misunderstanding. This is not a conversation to be conducted with a young child in the absence of the parent. I was completely offended by this very inappropriate behavior by an adult. I found out later when my daughter asked me, “Auntie asked me if I wanted her to be my godmother. What is that?”

Many years ago, while I was at work, my sister-in-law asked my 3-year-old daughter (who is very mature) if she would like her to be her godmother. If you do decide to stay, a therapist could help you to move through the emotional fallout from this “last straw.” (It may morph into other very challenging emotions.)

Being armed with real information and an actual choice could empower you to feel more in control of your own life, and your anger should dissipate. You can use the anger you feel to spur you to action. Truth be told, it seems that your husband has already at least partially left.Īfter doing this research, you may decide to stay, at least for now, but it will be your choice. Given the way you have described this (topping off a troubled marriage, your husband plans a secret trip with your daughters to celebrate his brother’s landmark birthday, while deliberately ignoring yours), I think you should use their time away to contact a lawyer and educate yourself about your financial prospects, as well as the personal and emotional consequences of you leaving the marriage. One way to move on would be to actually move on.

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